the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
