she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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