The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
