I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
