So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
