Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
