I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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