No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
