exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
