I'm jealous of your bromance
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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