His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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