Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
