I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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