the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She said her name was "party"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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