I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
