at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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