So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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