She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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