I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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