Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
