well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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