i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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