Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
