This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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