so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
