Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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