At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
