Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
