Already got asked if we're dating
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
