you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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