can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
