So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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