Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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