He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
