That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I need a burrito and a hug.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
