I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
