East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
