my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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