This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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