I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
