I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
