I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this just has baby written all over it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
