How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
