it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
