it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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