Umm I'm too high to move.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
