i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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