Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
