dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
