He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
