I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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