made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
