the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
