I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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